I’m a perfectionist.

Before I engaged in therapy, my perfectionist tendencies were at their most destructive. I worried about all the “what ifs” and shoulds/ should have. If I couldn’t do something perfectly, my brand of avoidance included some sort of reasonable excuse. Deep down I knew that I didn’t want to risk failure. 

I stopped writing for almost two years. My imagination wasn’t given space to explore. I buried all the worlds and characters that lived inside me because I feared that I’d never be published.

With these fears, I forgot the pure and simple joy I found in writing. When I write, it’s like my entire being takes a deep breath. There’s no other way I can describe it. Imagine two years, without a full breath. Imagine the self-imposed prison that I placed myself in.

Many writers struggle with perfectionism. While the effects of a perfectionist mindset track differently from writer to writer, very often, if we allow our fear of failure and perfectionism to take control we lose the joy of writing. The spark that pushed us forward disappears and our purpose feels futile. 

If being a perfectionist prevents you from accomplishing your writing goals, read on! Today, I’ll guide you through a reflection on your perfectionist tendencies. Then, we’ll consider steps that you can take to kick perfectionism out of the driver’s seat and go forward with self-compassion so that you can reignite your excitement for writing. Let’s make it easier to pick up that pen again!

The American Psychological Association defines perfectionism as demanding a high or flawless performance level that exceeds a situation’s requirements. 

Take a moment to consider any profession. We do not enter those fields with the ability to execute each decision and task perfectly. I’m seven years into teaching and I know that I make errors regularly. I know that I will forever be learning, relearning, and refining my skills. 

The expectation to write a perfect story, and to be defined as a prodigy is unrealistic. Error is certain to occur time and time again.

Why put this pressure on ourselves? The only way to avoid it is to never write… What a bleak existence that is for those called to the craft.

Can you ever stop being a perfectionist? I don’t know.

However, I do believe that self-awareness is the first step towards harnessing your perfectionism to support your writing process. When you are in control, you’ll notice when perfectionism is taking over and can reframe your expectations and adjust your behaviours.

Part of being a perfectionist is that you develop a keen attention to detail. You can zoom in to track each tiny grain of the process.

As a writer, attention to detail can serve you well. You’ll want to develop realistic characters and ensure that your timeline matches your events. Part of you will have a strong grasp of grammar and sentence structure. Without this skill, readers would struggle to understand and engage with your worlds. 

So, being a perfectionist isn’t all bad. 

However, on the flip side, paying close attention to detail means that you’ll be spending a lot of time problem-solving or seeking ways to prevent future problems (the what-ifs).

Take a large-scale goal like writing a novel. The many questions and steps to completion allow a lot of room for error. It can be paralyzing! Thus, we see perfectionism walking hand in hand with… procrastination.

Consider these questions:

Do you…

1. Over Research and Plan?
2. Wait for inspiration or the “right idea” to strike?
3. Resist feedback or sharing your writing with others?
4. Paralyze yourself with negative self-talk (ie. “It will never be good enough”)?

If you said “yes” to even one of these items, you are a procrastinator and most likely it is your strive for perfection that is influencing this habit.

Writers who are perfectionists often worry that their writing isn’t good enough and that no reader will find value in their work. They fear rejection from publishers and often avoid feedback from others.

These writers create a self-imposed prison where they believe that they are not great writers and thus they avoid writing altogether.

And we know that if we aren’t writing, then there is no way to improve upon our craft. The fear of failure can influence avoidance and cause these worries to come true- a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Is procrastination the same thing as avoidance? Maybe.

But I think that they track differently. When you procrastinate, you often play a game with your mind where you fully believe that you will get to that task at some point, but there are x, y & z that need to be completed first. All those non-urgent to-do’s like cleaning the grout in the washroom suddenly become necessary to complete immediately.

Or, you just procrastinate by watching the latest hot show for hours on end or scrolling through social media for a sickening amount of time.

Procrastination is the non-action that comes from the mental state of fearing failure.

Here’s a fun way to procrastinate that feels quite productive: a writer can spend hours, days, or even months planning their novel.

Yes, plotting is essential to developing a strong narrative.

But, there are tiny details that just don’t need to be planned out before writing. I couldn’t care less what type of sneakers my MC is wearing- wouldn’t even want to read about it in a novel (unless they’re crucial to the story, like Luke’s sneakers in Percy Jackson).

If your reader doesn’t need to know it and it won’t help you flesh out your characters, main plot points, or themes, then you most likely can do without planning for it.

Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, states that overplanning can trick us into feeling productive so that we don’t risk failure.

Perfectionists stuck in planning mode think that they’re taking action when really their illusion of productivity is a tool to protect them from foreseen rejection.

Have you ever caught yourself trying to determine exactly what your readers would want to see or hear in your novel? Do you second-guess what you’ve written because you’re just not sure that it’s right? 

Some writers create reader profiles for their work in progress. This tool is useful for determining your ideal audience and then writing for them- it’s a way to help you build engagement within a niche rather than writing blandly for the masses. However, writers can take this too far.

If you find yourself writing, rewriting, and deleting your work consistently, you may be suffering from perfectionist indecisiveness. This again connects back to the fear of failure. We don’t want to commit to one idea, one word even because perhaps it isn’t the perfect one.

You can’t just stop being a perfectionist but you can commit to maintaining self-awareness around your perfectionist tendencies. Once you create a habit of noticing when you’re falling into this spiral, you can then stop and take steps to reroute back to your true writer identity.

I know we want to write when we’re inspired. But, for a writer who is struggling with perfectionism, this is not a sustainable ideal.

For now, look through your weekly schedule and map out the times in your routine that you can dedicate as a writing block.

It doesn’t need to be long- 20-30 minutes (or even less- I rebuilt my writing routine with 5 minutes) is a great way to start. Consider the when, where, and what.

The less thinking you need to do, the quicker that you can jump into writing without friction.

Truly commit to writing each time. It doesn’t matter if you’re inspired, tired, uncertain, or if the writing piece is any good.

The goal is to turn writing consistently into a habit- a task that you do because you are a writer.

It’s time to build your resilience! Start small by seeking out those that you trust to critically comment on your written work. You don’t need to share just any piece of writing. You can revise it first.

The goal here is to develop our growth mindset and remember that our skills won’t continue to flourish in a vacuum. Be a writer who relishes learning and growing- be a lifelong learner!

Practice self-compassion. Acknowledge the negative self-talk in your head and the worries that you aren’t a great writer, then push them aside and keep going with your newfound knowledge.

When you’re ready, you can share your writing with editors, publishers, and ARC readers. And when you receive a perceived negative comment on your work, you’ll be ready to determine what you can learn from it!

We spend far too much time in the future, imagining our final product- that book sitting proudly on the shelf. The rush to get to that future speeds us by the journey along the way.

The journey is filled with imagination, tears, hard work, uncertainty, and joy. Each milestone you hit brings you closer to your dream’s realization and allows you to break down your giant goals into manageable, less overwhelming chunks.

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep screaming it from the top of my lungs… when you celebrate your small wins rather than wait until that goal has been met, you set off super neurotransmitters that keep you motivated and resilient.

So reflect on your week, on what you’ve accomplished, and treat yourself!

I call these free writes. Get a notebook or start a digital file of writing that’s just for you. Not every writing piece needs to be published. If you’re stuck, grab a book that’s already filled with writing prompts.

The best part of this process is that you don’t need to edit or even reread it. You could engage in some stream-of-consciousness writing or delve into a world, or a topic that engages you. Messy half-thoughts and characters that aren’t fully fleshed out are welcome here. Break out of those perceived molds of each genre. Don’t consider your reader.

It doesn’t have to be great writing, it just has to bring you joy– make your swirling thoughts calm and your breathing a little deeper. Allow yourself to make mistakes here and hopefully, they won’t seem so scary in the future.

Being a perfectionist isn’t all bad. We’re reliable and detail-oriented, but when perfectionism causes self-doubt that has us hiding from our love of writing then a change needs to be made.

Reflecting on the characteristics that you exhibit as a perfectionist is a necessary first step. From there, it’s time to develop strategies that will have us eager to write again! 

It may be difficult at first. You may fear the worst. Yet, with patience and time, you can work with your perfectionist traits so that you are outputting your best writing and continuing to grow as a writer throughout your journey!

What do you do when you realize that perfectionism is getting in the way of your writing goals? Share your suggestions in the comments below.

Download these 5 journal prompts for perfectionists to start your self-reflection journey as you move from fear-driven to joy-driven in your writing!

Talk soon!

Julia