Self-compassion is crucial to building a sustainable writing practice!

Have you ever finished a writing session and thought to yourself, “That wasn’t great writing!” or “I should have written for longer?”

These thoughts are your inner critic negatively influencing your creative expectations with unrealistic ideals.

Instead of believing every thought you have, you need to build a writing routine that includes self-compassion. 

These negative thoughts often occur when progress feels slow or imperfect. 

In today’s blog post, we’ll explore what self-compassion looks like for writers and small acts we can incorporate into our writing routine to practice self-compassion.

“I didn’t write enough today. This draft is horrible. I’ll never be as good as Jane Austen!”

These are common mindset traps that we can fall into as writers.

Take a moment to reflect on the negative self-talk loops you often repeat. 

Is it around a lack of writing time?  Or the quality of your writing? Or are you often comparing yourself to published authors?

These thoughts can suck the joy out of writing, causing us to procrastinate or lose motivation and stop writing altogether.

Each of us has our own writing style and routine, and without writing consistently, our writing skills won’t improve. 

Not being enough as a writer or not writing enough is a myth.

The writer’s process shifts and grows as you do. It’s not a step-by-step formula towards an A+.

Developing a self-compassionate mindset will help you define new ways of viewing success as a writer. You can learn how to do that here.

Dr. Kristin Neff, whom I had the pleasure of learning from during a past professional development day, states that there are three elements to self-compassion:

When a friend puts themselves down, we’re often the first to help them recognize they’re being too harsh on themselves. 

Rather than agreeing with their self-judgment, we look at them with kindness.

Yet, we find this so difficult to do for ourselves.

Self-kindness is simply treating yourself with the same care you would a family member or a friend. 

Instead of seeing your flat dialogue as a failure, you give yourself a little understanding.

You recognize that this is an area for growth. It’s an area that you haven’t perfected yet, but with time and practice, you will improve.

Neff states that when you make mistakes, there’s often this irrational notion that you’re the only human with this experience.

That idea isolates you from connecting with others or reaching out when you need support.

We don’t all have the same struggles, the same areas of growth and learning.

But as humans, we’re connected by the life experiences of struggle, vulnerability and Imperfection.

When you fear you aren’t good enough, remember that every writer experiences these doubts. 

Every writer started as a beginner and grew their skills with time and practice.

There are tons of writers eager to connect and learn from each other.

Seek out those communities.

Be open to vulnerability and progress.

Mindfulness is the willingness to gain an open perspective on the negative thoughts and challenging scenarios we’re faced with.

When you over-identify with a negative thought, you begin creating strict boundaries and identities, such as I am not a writer because I don’t write every single day. 

These are hard to break free of.

Instead, mindfulness allows us to gain a wider perspective on the present situation.

I may feel disappointed that I can’t sustainably write daily.

Yet I manage to write once a week.

This means that progress is still being made on my writing project. I am a writer because I write.

This approach helps us acknowledge our thoughts and feelings without them ruling our present and future identities.

If you want to learn more about self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff, check out her website here.

1. Rephrase negative self-talk: Consider how you can rephrase statements such as “I’m not good enough” with a positive growth mindset. (ex. “I am writing as much as I can right now” or “I’m doing my best.”)

2. Recognize effort and growth, not just end goals: Did you write once this week? That’s amazing! Even if you didn’t complete your weekly writing checklist, recognize all the progress you’ve made.

3. Imperfect progress over perfectionism: Acknowledge that your rough draft isn’t yet at the standard you wish it to be, but you’ve made progress, and with time, it will improve. It’s a rough draft after all.

4. Take writing breaks without guilt: Your writerly brain needs intentional breaks to refuel. Forcing yourself to write constantly causes output fatigue. Intentionally step away from your writing project before you’re creatively drained. Your project will be waiting for you upon your return.

5. Celebrate small wins: Some days or weeks, nothing seems to work. Sometimes, our goals won’t be accomplished on time. Seek out the small wins. Whether it’s finishing a chapter or writing a paragraph, all of this effort is still forward motion for your manuscript. Here are some ways to celebrate your small wins.

Self-compassion supports your creative writing passion.

It allows you to be gentle and patient with yourself while still getting writing done!

By incorporating this mindset shift into your writing process, you’re building a sustainable, enjoyable and resilient writer identity.

Writerly Self-Compassion in Action:  What’s a small writing win you’ve had this week? 

Share in the comments.

Still doubting yourself?

Check out these 2 blog posts for more resources:

How to Shift Your Mindset: 6 Blog Posts for Writers Struggling with Self-Doubt

3 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt as a Writer

Talk soon!

Julia